This is an excersise I came up with to illustrate how we let things get by us in order to get what we THINK that we want.
1. Put your hand in front of your face and spread your fingers.
2. Close one eye and look between two of the fingers and focus on an object in the room.
What you will soon notice is that the fingers get blurry and the object becomes clearer to you. This is how most of us approach relationships. We focus on what we want and the BS that is right in front of our faces becomes blurry. It never went anywhere it was always in clear view.
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