I'm writing this blog because I hear so many people say things like the following"
1. "I know all the game out there and nobody is gonna play me"
2. "I'm tired of getting played by men and I don't know what I'm doing wrong"
These are two statements that drive me crazy when I hear it from women and I share this with you because I've been the good guy and the bad guy at different points in my life. So this isn't about what I've heard, it's about what I lived.
Players are only good if you showcase your weakness. I'm no going to get into what those weaknesses normally are in this post, but generally you have to give them nothing to latch onto. One who says they know all the game out there is a fool. If that person exists on this planet, I would love to meet them. GAME is created daily and as often as websites are created. If I asked you to do research on how many websites are created every day, you would be overwhelmed by the number. You wouldn't be able to keep up with it. The same applies to game. You can't control how it comes to you because it has so many different varieties and flavors. The only thing that you can control is YOU because to be able to prepare for the limitless game out there is futile.
You can only minimize being played by maximizing what you will and will not deal with. Learn yourself inside and out. Know what you need to add to your happiness. Requirement number one is to be happy BEFORE you date him. So if something does go wrong, your happiness is still in tact.
The goal of any player is to be able to control the situation. If you take over the control, he/she has no power. When you relax your standards, you relinquish your control. The enemy of any player is WORK. If I have to work really hard to get you, I lose out on time that I can be dealing with something new. Whatever your fear of being played for..whether its your body, your money, your time, etc. You have to make that your first defense. Never make it easy for him/her to attain that initially. A person worth their salt and is really interested in you will stick around and work for what they get.
Is this foolproof....NO. Because the most powerful player in the world is one that has mastered the art of faking sincerity. It will, however, allow you to make wiser choices in the future. The key is to always be about making forward progress.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Is traditional dating/courting a myth in the present day?
Dating in the traditional sense is not a myth and is definitely not dead. Its just no longer a requirement in a lot of circles of men and women. I talk to women all the time about this very topic and the number one question is "Why doesn't he want to take me out?".
To understand why men don't have the desire or the need to plan dates, take you out, etc., you have have to understand the way a man's mind works. We are programmed to do what has worked before and if we need to alter it we will do it out of necessity. For example, if I dated ten women and they all liked their hand rubbed, when I meet you the first thing I'm gonna try is to rub your hand. The same applies with this topic to a certain extent. To understand why the man reacts this way you have to understand the other side as well.
Over time a lot of women have dealt with men that did not treat them well, wasn't right for them, didn't meet their standards...etc. So you choose not to deal with them. The unfortunate result or side effect of that is that your are alone. No matter how cocky or independent you are as a woman, sometimes you will get lonely. So out of need, sometimes you relax your standards just to fulfill that desire for companionship. In most cases that means settling for less because the dating pool is so shallow based on your experiences.
Now with the lowered standards instead of requiring that a man take you out in order to take steps to get to know you, you settle for the "You can come over to my house and watch DVD's" man. When you say yes to this, you now have set the standard for what you will receive later. Using the point that I illustrated earlier in the blog, the male side of this should become pretty clear. If I run into 20 women that accept me not courting them or taking them on dates....guess what??? When I meet you, I have to assume that you might want the same.
When the man approaches you with that, YOU as the person responsible for your ultimate happiness owe it to yourself to shut him down. If you let your desire for companionship overshadow what you know you need from him, you will always receive less than favorable results in the end. Sure you can go chill with a guy at his house and watch movies, but if this is how he courts you from day one, don't be surprised if a date doesn't follow.
The ultimate answer to the question ""Is dating a myth?" is NO, but it can be if we allow it to be. If we demand more, we will receive more, and if we don't receive it we have to learn to be happy without it. Settling should never be an option.
To understand why men don't have the desire or the need to plan dates, take you out, etc., you have have to understand the way a man's mind works. We are programmed to do what has worked before and if we need to alter it we will do it out of necessity. For example, if I dated ten women and they all liked their hand rubbed, when I meet you the first thing I'm gonna try is to rub your hand. The same applies with this topic to a certain extent. To understand why the man reacts this way you have to understand the other side as well.
Over time a lot of women have dealt with men that did not treat them well, wasn't right for them, didn't meet their standards...etc. So you choose not to deal with them. The unfortunate result or side effect of that is that your are alone. No matter how cocky or independent you are as a woman, sometimes you will get lonely. So out of need, sometimes you relax your standards just to fulfill that desire for companionship. In most cases that means settling for less because the dating pool is so shallow based on your experiences.
Now with the lowered standards instead of requiring that a man take you out in order to take steps to get to know you, you settle for the "You can come over to my house and watch DVD's" man. When you say yes to this, you now have set the standard for what you will receive later. Using the point that I illustrated earlier in the blog, the male side of this should become pretty clear. If I run into 20 women that accept me not courting them or taking them on dates....guess what??? When I meet you, I have to assume that you might want the same.
When the man approaches you with that, YOU as the person responsible for your ultimate happiness owe it to yourself to shut him down. If you let your desire for companionship overshadow what you know you need from him, you will always receive less than favorable results in the end. Sure you can go chill with a guy at his house and watch movies, but if this is how he courts you from day one, don't be surprised if a date doesn't follow.
The ultimate answer to the question ""Is dating a myth?" is NO, but it can be if we allow it to be. If we demand more, we will receive more, and if we don't receive it we have to learn to be happy without it. Settling should never be an option.
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