EGO vs. NECESSITY: inside the mind of a game player

EGO vs. NECESSITY

This blog is about what goes through a game players mind. What drives him/her to do what they do. You can simplify that drive into two categories; EGO and NECESSITY. I will break down the two for clarification so that by the conclusion you will know better how to arm yourself in the future.

EGO

This is the most common motivator among players. The male ego is a powerful thing. Most say we are hunters by nature when it comes to women and the conquest or the hunger for fresh meat never dies. Well, in part that is true. A lot of women are guilty of this as well.

Some will do it for the conquest, to come up against a challenge and emerge victorious. It's a battle from day one...my wits against yours and as men we assume that we are more powerful because we tend to be less emotional by nature. Every word that comes out of your mouth is analysed so that his/her team can win. Things like "I'm tired of being hurt by men", "I'm just looking for a good man", "I'm lonely", etc. The player will take that information, process it and become the opposite of what is making you unhappy. Most players will play you by "FEEL". If I feel like you want a nice guy, then I will be that based on what you say. If I feel like you need a little more edge, then I will provide that because I know that once your defenses are down the game is over. I will call the shots from that point on. Even the strongest of defenses have a crack in them. It just takes the right combination or recipe of things to get through the crack. Unless you have sworn off the opposite sex completely until you die, THERE IS A CRACK!!! The conquest player does it for the numbers or the challenge. Either way it's about feeding the ego. There is no long term result here because that will never be the goal here. The goal is to get in and get out and be on the winning team.

The key point here is that most things that a player will want to conquer are time sensitive. Most players will not want to work too long to achieve his/her goal. So on the flip side of that, if you don't make them work...the easier and quicker it is for them to win the game. Some will do it just to get a certain thing from you and others will do it just because they can, but the common denominator here is that they all are doing it to serve their own ego.

NECESSITY

The other type of player does what he/she does because they are lacking something somewhere else in their life. The goal here is to get that missing piece without sacrificing the other parts of your life. This is where the majority of cheaters live. The majority of these types of players are already in relationships. Some will do it for both ego and necessity, but most do it because they want something they don't have currently. For example, if I'm not getting enough affection at home, when I meet you that's all I'm gonna gravitate towards. Everything else about you doesn't really concern me. We may do some things together, but it's not my ultimate goal to be with you long term or make any type of committment to you. At least not a REAL one. If I feel like I'm not getting enough sex, my goal is to get it from where ever I can. In this case my goal isn't to conquer you, it's just to fulfill my need at the time. I don't want to go through the motions of trying to figure out ANYTHING about you.

If you indeed fulfill my need to my satisfaction, our interaction my last for years. You in turn have to know that the person being played most certainly will not have the other qualities that the player needs in order to make a commitment. This is why the necessity is a form of being played because ultimately the need is attained and then a break has to be made at the expense of the other persons feelings/time. Sometimes the necessity is the person needs a place to live or transportation. So the goal would be to weasel your way into someone's life that has those things.

CONCLUSION

If you break down all of the ways you have been played or someone you know, it will more than likely fall into one of these two broad categories. In each category there are thousands of different ways that it can come at you. I could never put it all into a pretty box with a bow for you. You always here the phrase "Actions speak louder than words"....well as long as he/she is telling you what you want to hear, make sure they are doing what you need them to do as well. Slick talk always has a shelf life if YOU stick to your guns. It will only last as long as you allow it to. Your first instinct is normally the right one so follow it. Your happiness is worth way more than the chances you give to someone who isn't cutting it.